The Only Way to Become Someone Unique

The only way to become someone unique is by avoiding everyone.

Think about it. You're born into conditioning, which is how society views the world, then.

Let's break that down. Let's say you were born into a time when it was necessary to attend school, then go to university, and finally secure a good corporate job with stable pay, and you stay there until you retire. Of course, somewhere along the line, you get married, go on vacations, have date nights, fight a lot, make out a lot, have kids, take a mortgage, and buy that house.

Once you retire, you're free to do whatever you want, but since you've given your health and time to that safe corporate job, your body isn't allowing you to do much.

That’s a standard prescription, one example. There are plenty more. Reflect on your past and how you've evolved into the person you are today. You'll see tons of influence without even realizing it.

My Conditioning Story

I'm an example of conditioning. Well, conditioned but trying hard not to be "too" influenced. I can smell conditioning when I see it, but I suspect my conditioning has been conditioned.

In my case, it's boring. School and grades were the focus, and as Indians, our parents are full throttle when it comes to grades, marks, and comparison. Yes, exactly what you're thinking. Like how you want that good car, job, house, life, whatever the other person has, Indian parents will compare, embarrass, and remind you (for life) how much that aunty's son or that neighbor's daughter made on the same exam.

No plot twist here: I ALWAYS got the worst marks. I was the floor, no comparison.

Anyway, my parents wanted me to be a doctor or an engineer. When that didn't work out, they mentioned joining some sort of government service. I ignored that. Then, finally, a corporate job. "You need to make money."

And yes, get married, have kids, etc.

So I went off script — went to the States for education and work. A good boy would have come back right after the degree, but I stayed on for 10 years. I've changed jobs several times. I don't intend to work forever and retire. I'll do whatever I feel like.

But wait. Isn't this conditioning too? Isn't this me spouting out what I've seen and listened to from the life gurus on YouTube and LinkedIn? I'm not sure, but it vibes with me for now.

The Happiness Trap

Here's what I think is happening:

We're all chasing happiness, but the chase itself is making us miserable.

Why are we doing whatever we do? Simplistically, I think it's happiness.

GROAN.

Jeez, hear me out, tiger.

It's clichéd, but fucking true. You want excitement, good energy, happiness, and a sense of peace of mind.

And that's why we're all moving around like chaotic blunt instruments doing something or the other to fulfill ourselves and be HAPPY.

But, but, but… I think many of us are happy, but we're running out of gas. I read somewhere that people want relief. That this world is obsessed with more money, more productivity, and being the best version of oneself is exhausting, and they want to feel held, to be relieved of this.

We've lost our mojo because we're conditioned to do more, improve, routine, make money, become a baby CEO, master AI, and insert here whatever else comes to mind.

The Truth About Your Happiness

You don't need to earn happiness. You already have it. You just don't know how to bring it out.

Yes, you're allowed to be happy in these crazy times. You don't need to feel like anyone else. Really.

The conditioning tells you that happiness is a destination, a promotion, a relationship status, a bank balance, a lifestyle, whatever. But happiness isn't something you achieve, it's something you uncover.

Break Free

Let yourself out of your self-inflicted, societally constructed prison.

Stop chasing the version of success that someone else has designed for their life, at their time, with their circumstances.

Your uniqueness isn't hiding in some future achievement. It's in the parts of you that refuse to fit the mold, that question the script, that choose your own definition of a life worth living.

The world will keep offering you its conditioning. Take what serves you, ignore what doesn't.

But most importantly, remember: the happiness you're working so hard to find, it's there. Bring out that shovel because it’s buried under layers of what other people told you matters.

And once you find it (you don’t have to dig too deep and find skeletons of your past), start being happy.

Later,

Parves

PS: Leave me a comment. I won’t bite.